where everything is just, in the face of benefits, so devoid of all the values that people should have held to. everything seems like, such a pretense, so superficial. very artificial.

the truth is always ugly. sometimes i think i cant take it anymore. how can we live in a world where we live only for ourselves. it makes me so alone, so cast off from the ever winding cogs of life that everyone is so caught up in.

but i know that in it all, perhaps the fault really does only, lie with me. for maybe, i am the only one who is thinking up all these to protect my own self-interests. i want to change it. but what does it take to change it?

what i give, i dun get back. although, yes, i shouldn't have expected anything in return in the first place. for i have given it on my own free will.

but sometimes i get back more than i bargained for. and it backfires.

i think all these has to do with my personality. but how can one change oneself from inside out? its really not easy.