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♔ Thursday, October 11, 2007
4:28 PM |
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after A lvls, i'm going to play bball like mad.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
oh btw, FIR album rocks xD
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♔ Friday, October 05, 2007
8:51 PM |
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hm. i think this might be the last time i'm blogging. hahaa, so if u're even reading this at all, dun come to this blog for like, 2 months til the A lvls are over.
just played basketball for probably the last time in sch.
i dunno, but i feel kind of sad that its the last day in sch. lol, mayb some of u will think i'm being a sadist. u know, "u mean u enjoy sch? the mugging? the assignments? all that?!" hahaa, perhaps i am a sadist. but.. even though some ppl, okay mayb not. MOST. ppl do not like this sch, but i still that this is the place we spent our memories in... so its a place worth remembering. its not about "loving" the sch, but this is the place we met, we had fun, we endured. so to me, this is something that is important.
hahaa, mayb i shd just stop here and go mug. afterall, someone said i look
too relaxed, like some ip2. i mean, can u imagine? IP TWO leh. that means i look TOO carefree for my own good right? aiya, but then again, its the last day in sch... =\
and perhaps i shd finish this off quickly before the guilt kicks in.
HM. i've been thinking back about wad happened. i mean, these past two years. wad i've done, wad i've been doing... and i found that there were quite a lot of things that i regretted not doing. but out of the things i regretted not doing.. it realli boiled down to only one reason: i lacked courage.
some of these are minor, but some realli weigh me down at times.
i'll just keep thinking back. why? why didn't i do this, why didn't i do that?
what they said was realli true lor. Life is not a game. You can't just press restart. Wadever mistake you made, you just have to pay the price and live with it.
Actually, i'm quite aware that i'm kind of an introvert. i mean, mayb i look like i'm a very outgoing person to you, but i open up REALLY slowly to people. you can like, know me for 5 years and don't know me at all. I never liked to share my opinions about important things with people... cos firstly, i'm not good with words. and secondly...lol, actually its the same as the first point. (haha, already you can see the evidence of my bad gp) well, let's just say i always end up saying what i did not mean to say. i often cast the wrong impression. but realli. i do not like people to know what i think because it gets really troublesome when they disagree. well... u see..... i'm a stubborn person who likes to stick to my views once i made a decision. no matter what u say, its highly unlikely that i'll accept even if it sounds totally logical. and i find it highly irritating when someone tries to persuade me to their view and i find it really, too much of a hassle to fight back my case. i'll just drop it, shut down and it's "case closed". i'm a pacifist u know. i love peace. i avoid fights at all costs and i think some of u realised that.
so let me get back to the mainpoint after sidetracking for so long.
well. since i'm the kind of lazy person that prefers to keep quiet about wad i think, there were a lot of things i actually wanted to say to certain people but didn't say in the end. i'll always just cook up reasons like, ahh.. this is not the right timing. i'm too busy right now to bother with this sort of thing... or aiya, too paiseh cos it's so random. but realli larh. i know that i lacked the courage. and i think that i have to change that.
i've actually thought about this for a very long time. I know that this is my character lor. just keep quiet. then nothing will happen. but realli lor,
absolutely NOTHING will happen and that in itself,
IS not right lor.
but then again. there will still be things that i'll never say. mayb all these are cos i've been raised in a household where action speaks louder than words. and these things that i never said, i always tried to express in actions. but hah. its just like a piece of art that's drawn in HB. you can't see the art very well unless u look at it close up. BUT i'm not asking you all to scrutinise my every action from now on k? cos that will be seriously freaky and i'll really not talk to you for the rest of my life.
and. i. mean. it.
so, in my opinion, still there are some things that are not meant for me to say. i just dun think that its appropriate coming from me. sometimes, mayb i dun have the right. sometimes, i will think that someone esle, who shd have taken the initiative, shd have said it. so i'll just wait and wait for that person to say it. and it never happens lor. then again comes the irritating paradox. if i dun say it, i'll regret it lor. and usually, once u miss that moment, you really miss it. there's no second opportunity.
aiyo. i shd go and eat.
i realised that i missed lunch because of basketball and i'm about to miss dinner (and the wonderful tou hua, i recently just had a sudden liking for tou hua =D)
so crappy. actually i'm having second thoughts about publishing this.
its so long. =\
and after rereading this whole post, aHh! the whole thing lacked structure! its just a whole mesh of thoughts and ideas i typed impulsively! =( so actually i have wanted to just press delete. but if u press delete, then wa? i wasted my time typing something so long?!
SO, i've decided to publish this for the sake of publishing it. so please forget everything that i've said above and i'm going to pretend that i did not say anything.
xD wad a pun.
